Title: The mastery of love – a practical guide to the art of relationships
Author: Don Miguel Ruiz
Nr. of pages: 210
I hope the new year started for you very good and you (still/always) wear your own well deserved crown. I have no excuse for not writing any longer on the blog. Wintertime is always a challenge when it comes to posting fashion or styling ideas. Therefore I have the brilliant idea to share with you one of my favorite book reviews on the new column. Let me start with Don Miguel Ruiz and his “The four agreements” collection including the following 4 books: The four agreements, The mastery of love, The voice of knowledge and The fifth agreement (with his son don Jose Ruiz). The collection offers to his readers a practical guide to personal freedom.
The author’s main points are how to heal emotional wounds inside yourself and reach freedom by using insightful stories. Compared to other books that bring the same message to life, the freedom, “The mastery of love” was for me very easy to read through, it’s very “reader friendly” and straightforward and not complicated to read. You would find this book useful if you need a refreshing point of view about successful relationships with s spiritual touch.
The chapters that I most like about the book:
The wounded mind: “When a human is born, the emotional mind, the emotional body is completely healthy. Maybe around three or four years of age, the first wounds in the emotional body start to appear and get infected with emotional poison. Little by little we lose our innocence. Over time, incidents and interactions let us know it’s not safe to be who we really are. Shyness is the fear of expressing yourself. […] What is important is to have the awareness that we have this problem. If we have the awareness, we have the opportunity to heal our emotional body. With awareness we can easily understand why relationships don’t work.”
The man who didn’t believe in love: this is was one of the stories I enjoyed the most in this book. The author is describing an ordinary man that thought love doesn’t exist. What he said is that love is just like a drug: it makes you very high but it creates a strong need. The one who has the biggest need is like a drug addict. The one who has the little need is the one who controls the whole relationship. One day he met a woman. She was sad because she thought that love doesn’t exist. They were so much alike so they became the best friends ever and they had a wonderful relationship based on respect. The man’s heart was so full with all the love he felt that one night a great miracle happened. He was looking at the stars and he found the most beautiful one. His soul merged with the start. He was so happy and he could hardly wait to go home and put the star in the woman’s hands to prove his love to her. As soon as he put the star in her hands, she felt a moment of doubt. This love was too overwhelming for her, the star felt from her hands and broke in a million little pieces. For a moment of doubt, she let her go. This is the story of the man who didn’t believe in love.
Who made the mistake? The mistake was on the man’s part when he thought he could give the woman his happiness (the symbol of the star) and put it in her hands. Happiness never comes from outside us. The author points out the following lessons learned: no matter how much you love someone, you can never make him happy. If you take your happiness and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it.
The perfect relationship: “That is why the key in the lock has to be a match, because if one of you has a bad moment or an emotional crisis, your agreements is to allow each other to be what you are”. My advice for you, stop worrying people, leave your partner alone, the tension will go away and you will return to happiness. It’s nothing personal. To keep the two of you happy, you have to take care of your half. You are complete.
Another chapter that I really enjoy is “The divine huntress” where the author is using symbols from the Greek mythology representing the hunter, the prey and the parasite . Are you the prey or the hunter?;) Stop hunting outside. “To hunt inside yourself, you start by hunting every reaction you have. You are going to change one routine at a time. It is a war of freedom from the dream that controls your life.”
Furthermore, another concept that took me so long to understand is the author’s advice to accept yourself, just the way you are. When you achieve this, your limit of self-abuse when relating to a third party will be almost zero. This is self-love. Remember, you are never alone. “And you no longer depend upon the success of a relationship from the outside world.” And also remember, you can’t share what you do not have. The author is sharing also his perspective when it comes to healing the emotional wounds by pointing out the importance of forgiveness and self-love and awareness.
My personal experience related to the subjects mentioned in this book is that I have experienced it all, one by one. This book brought to me value add in my life by making me remember what I used to forget sometime: how the healthy love looks like. Dear reader, who wants to wake up now and be more aware compared to yesterday? The way up is infinite for you to become a better person.